Is It Normal For My Boyfriend To Hit Me? Many people have been physically abused by someone they love, and it’s called intimate partner violence. But you don’t deserve to get hurt or let it go on.
Hitting someone is not acceptable, and it is physically abusive and against the law. Signs of abuse like these could mean you are not secure in your relationship – and it could worsen.
Is It Normal For My Boyfriend To Hit Me (9 Ways To Deal With It)
Violence is not an excuse in a relationship. It doesn’t matter if it’s the first time. Once your boyfriend hits you, he’ll do it again.
Relationships can be complicated. There’s no perfect connection, and issues and challenges are bound to arise. But there are more civil ways of dealing with problems.
Going physical on you isn’t an option at all. If you’re still asking yourself, is it normal for my boyfriend to hit me? These are the steps to take when he hits you:
1. Talk About It
You’re letting people know what’s going o by talking about it. He now could not hide behind the shroud of secrecy.
But what if I don’t have anyone to tell? Tell your neighbor to Tell your friends, even if you’re not friends anymore, call them up and tell them.Â
Call your family, even if they are no longer close to you. Tell the child to pay at the local grocery store or mailman. Tell everyone. When you feel down, tell the police.
Ask for their advice; Find out what steps you can take to achieve a peaceful and secure life. If you are not comfortable telling the police, call a domestic violence hotline or a women’s shelter and tell them. Get their advice, and they will help you figure out what to do.
2. Ask Him Why?
Say somethin’ you’re upset, but why did you hit me?” If he blames you and doesn’t start working on himself, break up even if you feel it’s vital. It won’t be easy to break up with someone you love, but you must do it for your good.
If he doesn’t value you enough to be the best he can be for himself, you, and the relationship, he won’t change for a long time. He may never change.Â
He hasn’t learned how fragile relationships are yet because he still takes relationships and commitment for granted.
So, no matter how old you are and how much you love your boyfriend, know it’s wrong for your boyfriend to hit you. He may be a man, but hitting you is offensive and disrespectful. You deserve the best.
3. Insist He Goes For TherapyÂ
After your boyfriend hits you the first time, I know he’ll do everything he can to apologize and claim it was wrong. He will make promises that it will not be willed again.
It will happen again if you refuse to take drastic action because of his behavior.
You must insist that he work on himself and that you sign up for therapy and counseling for the relationship to continue.
He must be unsupervised by a licensed therapist to help him manage his abusive situation.
If he’s unwilling to sacrifice to ensure he never hits you again, you should leave the relationship immediately.
Don’t be fooled by his love showers as a way of apologizing to you and his constant “I’m sorry it won’t happen again” assurance.
If you don’t take urgent action, he will soon hit you again, and as part of the apology process, he should sign up for therapy and join an anger management group.
You must see him working on himself daily to be a better man, or he will beat you again.
Some women drift to the side of a sincere apology from their boyfriends but soon discover that the abuse hasn’t stopped; don’t be like them.
It will happen again if a woman allows a man to escape violence.
You should only continue the relationship if your friend improves psychologically after signing up for therapy.
You shouldn’t decide to stay with him based on how much you love him but on how much he’s willing to work on himself to ensure he hits you again.
If you tolerate violence in the name of love, it is not love; You are just a victim of low self-esteem.
4. Document Your Abuse.
Keep records of any attempts your partner makes to contact you after a breakup. Write a description of events in person or over the phone, and keep any physical evidence such as emails, social media messages, or text messages.
You need to document all the correspondence you receive, especially if it complains of violence. If you can, you must report any physical harassment that occurred while you were with the abuser or that was upon them after the breakup.
This is essential in building a legal case against your abuser and may help if you need a restraining order.
5. File A Restraining Order.
A restraining order (knowl protection order) allows legal protection from an ex-offender.Â
Take all evidence of your abuse, and a letter describing the abusive situation and the relationship between you and the abuser, to your local court of justice.Â
They must provide further instructions on how to fill out the paperwork to obtain a restraining order.
If the court approves your injunction, it will legally serve the person who offended you. After it is served, you will submit proof of service to the court. Talk to the court clerk about how to do this.
Keep a copy of the restraining order with you at all times, and somehow, it is to the police if necessary. You never know where you will be, when, and if your abuser decides to violate the order.
Know that a restraining order does not guarantee your protection. It’s easier to catch your abuser if more incidents occur, but it may not do much to drive the violent abuser away from you entirely.
6. An Exit Plan
It’s unsafe for you to up and leaves, and you need an exit plan. After you’ve told someone, pick a few people that you trust and keep them informed of what’s happening. Use code words that inform them that you need to be evacuated.
If you’re in the process of making an exit plan and he hurts you before you’re able to leave, be sure to keep evidence of what occurred, such as photos of bruises.
Keep your car fueled and unlocked, be sure your car is the last one on the driveway, and aid the spare keys. This will help in a quick getaway. If you don’t have a car, keep the bus or train schedules at hand and hide some extra money for the tickets.
Try to set aside some money; if you can’t do this on your try, have trusted family or friends loan you some money.
Hide a bag filled with clothes, medication, money, and important papers (license, passport, etc.), at a trusted friend’s house. This will ensure he doesn’t find the bag and disrupt your plans.
Note this schedule and when the safest time to leave would be. For instance, if he works away from home, use that time to make your getaway.
If you have children, then info informs them of your’s plan essential and sell them specifics, especially if they are too young, as they may give your exit plan away.
7. Forgive Him But Walk Away
If he’s unwilling to work on himself and believes that saying “sorry” is enough to make you forgive him And continue the relationship, then you should quit.
You should forgive him because forgiveness is essential, But you shouldn’t stay with him because the chances that he will hit you again are high.
It would be best not to take such risks with your life. If he claims he doesn’t need therapy or counseling and he’s fine, That’s likely, not true because violence is not a one-time event.
It repeats itself in horrible ways and increases with time. If he doesn’t want to work on himself to ensure he doesn’t hit you again, You should forgive him, but please RUN.
8. End The Relationship Safely And Avoid Giving A Second Chance.
It would be best if you made it clarify are ending the relationship with no hope of restarting it in the future. Suppose you feel uncomfortable or fear for your safety. In that case, you should put an end to the relationship.Â
Consider breaking up in writing or over the phone, even if that’s not how you typically do; your safety is more important than social graces.
If you must break up with an abusive boyfriend face to face, do it in public, with other people present, and keep the conversation brief.
Be short and to the point. You can say something simple like, “we cannot be together anymore.” Try to avoid any phrases like “right now,” “at this time,” or “until you change.”
Once you break up, don’t go back, attempt to contact, or reconcile with your partner. It’s over. Let your abuser get the message with the restraining order paperwork.
If you’ve suffered abuse, there’s nothing to discuss. Don’t listen to any negotiation, apologies, or promises that your boyfriend will “never do this again.” Abuse breaks the deal, and abuse ends a relationship.
9. Contact The Authorities
As soon as you secure your physical security, it’s essential that you speak with the authorities and move forward with legal action or at least explore your options.Â
You should know how to proceed legally and learn about safety precautions from the police. Ensure that your abuse will end.
You should contact an abuse counselor and learn about your options immediately.Â
Depending on your situation and the length of your relationship, it may be difficult to challenge a new job, apartment, o or the other significant changes this might require. Domestic abuse counselors can help.
ConclusionÂ
It is never OK for your boyfriend to hit you, no matter what you say or say; your boyfriend thinks you need to improve in certain ways, he specific you without hitting you.Â
All your boyfriend has to do is open up to you in a non-judgmental way and say that the things you do hurt him. Once he does, he can start making concrete plans to improve with you.
This is how he can get close to you, whereas, by hitting you, he is driving a wedge between himself and you, gaining strength, and thinking less of you.
Whatever you do, don’t think that hitting somehow shows passion, healthy possession, and love.Â
